By: Dr. Ceymone Dyce
Today's session focuses on temporary situations. The in-between moments of life that often feel excruciatingly long and impossible. Being resilient in tough situations requires the continued practice of your self-care skills so that when life gets hard, what you need to do to protect your head, so to speak- becomes automatic. However, sometimes we need a reminder.
I could personally write a book about managing "the in-between" as I constantly struggle to maintain the idea of who I used to be and synthesize that to the person I am today. It requires a juggling of keeping my old strategies incorporated until I completely shift to the next level I aspire to be. They say that every new phase of life requires a new version of yourself, but what they don't tell you is that you will also have to learn how to maintain and continue the older version of yourself as well; this can be exhausting.
I decided to share what I believe to be, go-to strategies and tips to help you push forward and thrive during the temporary moments of your life. This can be anything from a short-term living or employment situation, changes in a relationship or family dynamic. Below you'll find 5 tips for the temporary seasons in life that make you feel like you're stuck: in a ditch and impatiently waiting for a tow truck.
1. Identify the problem you're feeling; there's nothing worse than going through a short-term situation with long-term feelings. Check yourself. What are you experiencing and what emotions are manifesting? Then ask yourself, are you really mad at Carol-Ann or are you mad at the dirt?
2. Don't skip the struggle; if I were into super graphic tattoos, I think this is one I'd get plastered on my forehead. The first thing we want to do when life gets tough is to skip the struggle. This is especially true for temporary situations when you know in the back of your mind you won't be there for long anyway, right? Wrong. When you skip the struggle, you're essentially repressing the emotion you identified in step one. This can lead to lots of icky things like resentment and spite. Don't skip the struggle or the struggling emotions. Take each brick down and use them to stand on when you make it through to the other side.
3. Remove the creature from the habit; My dad says that I create solutions for problems that haven’t even happened yet. Guilty. One of my favorite avoidance tactics for temporary situations is to checklist my way through things. It's a behavior that reinforces old habitual thoughts and subsequently behaviors. While this may have its benefit in certain aspects of life, during temporary situations we need to move further away from the cognitive bind of what we think we should be doing. No one says you can’t go back to that person, but for right now, they're just a nuisance.
4. Practice mindfulness; I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Mindfulness over everything. Mindfulness used to be a difficult strategy for me to understand, because when you’re going 80 mph, you don’t have the option to sit still. Until life gets so hectic that you have no choice but to stop, breathe, and organize your emotional space in order to function. Mindfulness is a major key for temporary situations because you'll need to slow down and remind yourself that everything is eventual and that your current environment or situation is not forever. Namaste all day.
5. Acceptance; The most rebellious I've ever been in life is walking through the exit door when it's clearly labeled enter. When we are in temporary situations, we often try to rebel from the space we are in and skip the acceptance of the current state of our life. You’ve got to figure out a way to come to grips and accept where you are, acknowledge the present, so that you can move forward and get to where you need to be. I know that this is all easier said than done but think about what the opposite is. How is the resistance working for you?
Remember that every level requires a new version of you. Temporary situations are just that, fleeting and not meant to be permanent fixations. Try these strategies when you are looking to overcome new and challenging phases in your life.
Thanks for checking in today friend. I’m looking forward to our next session.
Talk soon- Dr. Dyce.